Hate: Being unmotivated

#7:
This rant is mainly about the lack of motivation I have toward fitness.

I used to take tae kwon do when I was 13, (it's true, I am Chinese after all). I really loved it. Something about taking all the agression I had out on someone else, usually male, felt very fulfilling. Everything I hated about myself, my life, my confusion about life and who I was; none of it mattered when I was memorizing steps and formations to get my next belt. I was really good at it too. I kicked some major ass and got all the way up to getting my second-degree red belt. Next belts from there were brown and then black. Unfortunately, my last lesson occurred when I couldn't find the inner strength to jump over gym mats stacked higher than my height at the time. The fear crept in my stomach and my mind, and voila! I sprained my ankle. The first time I'd ever seriously hurt myself. Being an only child, my mother freaked out and had me quit. I never felt right about any other kind of fitness routine since.

That was an entire high school sophomore ago.

After that I was never really the same. I had no motivation to get fit and work out. I was really sick in high school and got to skip gym class a lot. I always had a note from my doctor or my mom. The baby fat crept back on to my body. My mother was constantly motivating me with her words of encouragement throughout high school; "...boys don't like fat girls", "you need to suck your stomach in more, stop eating so much", and "did you work out today? You should work out, you're not looking so good". Thanks mom.

It just drove me to do the opposite of course. Nothing.

And now here I am, 30, still struggling with the annoying 5-10 lbs. that have failed to leave me in the last 7 years of my life, no matter what I do. Because I can never stick to something. Laziness always wins with me. EATING always wins with me.

So it's another day, where I'd vowed to work out tonight, and yet I'm still trying to justify doing nothing instead.

I've gotta stop talking to myself. I can be a major downer sometimes.

LOVE: The end of every month...

#6:

...Cause I get PAID!!!

Finally!!!

LOVE: Eating

I wish I could be Kobayashi

#5:

Man, I LOVE eating. It could very well be my favorite thing to do, EVER.

Besides the fact that you need to eat in order to live, I thoroughly enjoy it.

Which probably directly lead to me gaining 5 lbs. in one week.

5 lbs. 1 week.

That's just disgusting. I really let eating get the best of me this past week. It doesn't help that my job affords me the pleasures of free catered meals, but I really threw my will power out the window.

It's time to get back to life, and back to reality.

I cannot continue to eat like I am pants-less on an every day basis.

Time to get rid of the glazed donut wrapped around my belly.

HATE: Working with retahds

#6:
I'm awesome at what I do, no matter what I do. By no means am I full of myself, I'm just stating a plain FACT.

So, being as awesome as I am, I can't stand working with people that are sub-par. People who create task lists so that everyone is on the same page, yet don't follow the task lists themselves, causing them to forget to do things, and ultimately wasting my time.

People who can't listen to someone on the phone without freaking out and having to take a pill because the pressure becomes to great and causes them anxiety.
People who can't listen to simple instructions and do simple tasks causing me to do twice as much work and wasting double my energy and time.
People who don't seem to look in the mirror before they leave the house, so they look like they just rolled out of bed and pulled the first thing out of their closets not caring if it matched, had holes in it or a stain.
People who have to actually think about whether they shaved their legs. You should just KNOW if your legs are hairy or not, I mean, COME ON.
People who hear, "unlimited sick leave", and think it's a license to take weeks off at a time, by pretending to have doctor's notes and "work from home".
Basically people who probably shouldn't have graduated kindergarten. Cause they still need their hand held throughout life.
Yet these people still have jobs, have not gotten fired, no warnings, no probationary periods.
They get paid the same paycheck every month, and even get pay increases like me!

So no matter how hard I work, or how little I work, I'm shown on a daily basis, that none of it matters.

Thanks big bosses, for showing me how degenerates, losers, and retahds continue to suck the system dry.

Hating right now: My Blackberry

#5:

COME ON BLACKBERRY!! Get your shit together. I'm sick of you burning out on me after 5 hours of battery life if I make one phone call.

I'm tired of having to update the time on your display because you died on me and I couldn't charge you in time, so your internal clock is 4 days and 9 hours behind the real time.

I'm also totally bored of the ugly case I have to put you in, cause there really isn't a cooler case out there, not even one from Singapore that was made in a sweatshop.

I'm also done with being annoyed at yelling into the phone because the party on the other side of the line sounds like crap, so I assume I'm sounding like crap right back, herego I begin to yell at them.

I'm pissed at you, BB, pissed... how are we going to remedy this? Oh yeah, we can't because you're not my personal cell, you're my work cell. You'd think MIT could do better than this.

HATE: Sitting inside an office when it's GORGEOUS outside

#4:

Sitting on the inside when it's BEAUTIFUL on the outside. I could do without this torture.

I spend 8 hours a day in a room with AC that has a computer screen big enough to cover my view of the outside world in front of me, which I believe was done deliberately.

What THE MAN neglected, was the beautiful view I still have from my side.

I see lots of sun, people walking with coffees, lots of construction work being done. And a view of over the river.

This is disturbing to me when it's 80 out and I'm in my room wearing a sweater and a scarf.

DISTURBING.

Love right now: The idea of fall shopping

#4:

I'm so in love with the idea of fall shopping already. I know summer has barely begun, but I can't help the feeling considering how this New England weather has been thus far.

It's only natural to be excited for new boots, sweaters, and jackets when we've had a handful of "summery" days and a hundred gloomy rainy days barely over 65 degrees.

Today is no exception. Dylan Dryer told me it was going to 70 today. YEAH RIGHT?! Try barely 60 outside and wet AGAIN.

All I know is my new fall purchases are going to be SUH-WEET!! And so fun to wear.

If only July could just act like July I wouldn't be feeling so nostalgic for September.