Hate: Being around super Chinese people

#20:
Yes, I know, that sounds weird, being that I, myself, am Chinese. But in the end, when I really think about it, I am American and I've been trying to explain that to people for years. Around white people, it's not such a big deal, every once in a while, even in this century, I still get the question, "where are you from?" I've tried all different answers, "New York", "America", "from the same place you are", "where are YOU from?" Ultimately, white people just keep digging until I say "my parents are from China, I'm Chinese". This ends in victory for the white man, and they finally leave me alone.
Chinese people on the other hand, are relentless and waaay rude about it. ALWAYS. I have yet to meet one that just lets it go, accepts the fact that I do not have crimped hair, speak broken English, have porcelain skin or speak fluent Mandarin. Sorry China. I was born and raised here in the good ole U.S., I don't even have a New York accent or a Boston accent. I speak amazing English. I read and write amazing English, I am whiter than most of white friends.
Instead the Chinese give me dirty looks, start talking about me in Mandarin, knowing that I will not understand them. But I do understand them. I know what they're saying. They think I'm insulting them by not knowing Mandarin, by not understanding China and where I came from, I will never understand who I really am, or so they think.
I'm actually very aware of who I am and what I'm capable of. I know I can make a mean stir-fry and order from the "authentic" Chinese  menu when I want to. I eat chicken feet at dim sum and can make lo bak go from scratch. I know what to buy at the specialty Asian market without having to read the labels. And I know how to celebrate Chinese New Year like a Chinese person. I also know that Katz' Deli is way better than Carnegie Deli. NY bagels cannot be duplicated anywhere else in the world. NY pizza is real pizza not that deep dish crap or even California Pizza Kitchen. I also love all things Hello Kitty and all of her friends too. Also my meatloaf and homemade mac n' cheese rules, just ask my husband.
Do I wish that I could read, write and speak Mandarin fluently? I do now. Do I regret zoning out all those Saturdays my mom dropped me off at Chinese school and I had to cheat off my friend during the tests just to make it to the next grade? I do now. Do I wish my mom actually understood how hard Chinese school was because the teachers all expected you to already speak Mandarin and they weren't actually teaching me they were just talking at me in a language I could not understand? I do now.
At the time, I could care less. All I wanted to do was be rebellious and embrace America even more. I bleached my black hair blond, cut it short like a boy, all as a big "F you" to Chinese people who wanted me to be "more Chinese". What does that even mean? Just because I have the features does not mean I have the heart.
And has it bitten me in the ass now as an adult? Maybe. China could take over the world someday. They're growing faster in every aspect of society, including population, technology, and consumer power. They're no longer as rural and backwards as they once were. Communist still- yes, but maybe that could change one day too. In my lifetime? Maybe, although I hope to be elderly by then, and everyone will have to respect me regardless of what I speak and don't speak.
So at this time in my life, I wish I had made some different choices when I was younger, but I was stupid when I was young, everyone is. But I am my worst critic and forever will be and I don't need one billion Chinese people to tell me how to live my life and judge me because I was born in this country and they weren't. I know who I am and what I love. So sorry China if my Chinglish isn't good enough for you. In this country, it works and I'm proud of it.